Pranking After Death
by Convenient Alias
Summary: On his way to give himself up to Voldemort, Harry attempts to use the Resurrection Stone with unexpected results.


Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter.

Warning: Spoilers for Deathly Hallows.

AN: The story starts as Harry heads off to meet Voldemort. He has a little trouble with his Resurrection Stone.

* * *

So maybe it was because he really didn't know how to control the Resurrection Stone. Still, as he'd turned the ring on his finger, he'd known exactly whose spirit he was summoning-his father's. Yet for some reason, instead of seeing a man who looked very like himself except for his mocking brown eyes, he found himself looking up at the familiar face of a certain Weasley.

Fred grinned at him, perfectly calm. "Harry, I'm disappointed. You should have told us you had the Resurrection Stone. Don't you trust us? I thought we were like your family." He made some puppy eyes.

Harry stammered. "I just got it. It was in that snitch. Um. Aren't you dead?"

Fed sighed dramatically. "Of course, of course. And don't you see, Harry, that's the entire point. That's the only reason I'm able to be here at all, really. Can't be magicked up by the Resurrection Stone if you aren't dead."

"But I was trying to get my Dad!" Harry protested.

Fred looked at Harry very seriously. "Ah, well then." He crossed his arms and leaned back slightly. "Perhaps if you tried again?"

Harry shrugged. He took hold of the ring on his finger and turned it very slowly.

And another figure appeared. It looked exactly the same as Fred.

"George?" Harry said, truly horrified. "But…You were alive when I left…"

"Tsk, tsk," the new figure said very seriously. "Really Harry. Aren't you able to tell us apart, at least? I mean, these days George has a bloody hole in his head. Shouldn't be too hard."

"Fred?" At this point Harry was getting a little bewildered. "But you're…" He looked back at the first figure. It was still there, standing with its arms crossed, now with a satisfied smirk.

"And anyways I was trying to get my dad!"

The Freds both looked at Harry with perfect innocence. "Oh dear," They chorused. "Well, this is unfortunate. Maybe there's some kind of malfunction?"

"Do Resurrection Stones malfunction?" the second Fred asked.

The first Fred shrugged. "Can't say I know. But perhaps," he continued alone, flourishing his arms wildly. "You happen to think of me as a father figure, and that is why we are being summoned when you are trying to summon the spirit of your dad."

Harry grimaced. "You? My dad? If that was true, I'd sure be done for. I hate to think how a kid of yours would turn out…"

"Oh, I don't know," the first Fred said nonchalantly. "For one thing, he'd be very familiar with the family. Bet he'd be close with Ron."

"And he'd break the rules and take stupid risks," the second Fred said. "Like going down to the Chamber of Secrets and fighting off a basilisk alone."

"Or going to the Ministry of Magic to fight Voldemort on a hunch," the first Fred added.

"And," said the second Fred. "I'd give him tips on how to do pranks. He'd probably inherit the Marauders Map."

Harry blinked. "Wait, you couldn't do that! You gave the Marauders Map to me!"

The first Fred sighed. "Wow, Harry, you sure are dense."

"What I'm trying to say," said the second Fred. "Is that you are my son in all but hair color."

Harry spluttered, "Everyone says I'm just like my dad! Even if I didn't want James Potter to be my dad," which was happening more lately, what with certain Pensieve memories, "he's my dad in every way!"

The Freds both smiled comfortingly. "Relax, Harry," they chorused. "Of course James Potter was your dad. I'm just saying, maybe the Stone made a mistake. Maybe your dad was too much like me, so when you tried to summon him you got us instead."

Harry scowled. He was pretty sure that wasn't it. Still, he figured he might as well try to summon someone else, since his dad clearly wasn't coming.

So he tried to call out his mom.

Another Fred popped into existence with a grin. "Hey Harry. I'm not really sure why I would be called up instead of your mother, since I'm not exactly a maternal person-"

Harry ignored this Fred's talking and the other Freds' laughter, and tried to summon Sirius and Remus. Two more Freds appeared, both smirking triumphantly. This brought the total up to five Freds.

Harry had had enough. "You-! You're doing this on purpose, Fred! What, is this supposed to be some kind of prank?"

All the Freds shrugged easily. "Well, yeah."

"It's not funny!"

"I dunno," said the fourth Fred.

"Looked pretty funny to me," said the third Fred.

"Great," Harry said flatly. "Well, it's not funny. I need my dad, and mom, and Sirius and Remus for moral support. And I don't really think you're very good at moral support."

The Freds all leaned forward. They said in unison, "Moral support? Now Harry, what do you need that for?"

"Um," said Harry. Somehow he didn't think they would be happy that he was giving himself up to Voldemort, seeing as they had died in an attempt to prevent that very thing.

"Are you going to Voldemort?" they chorused, narrowing their eyes.

Harry hesitated. "Well, yes actually, but…"

"What a bloody stupid thing to do!" they all exclaimed at the exact same time, their pale, deathlike faces growing red in anger. "C'mon, Harry, you're the Wizarding world's last hope! You can't just lie down and die!"

"But I have to!" Harry shouted. "Dumbledore says I'm the last Horcrux! I have to die before Voldemort can ever be defeated!"

The Freds shook their heads. "I don't understand what you're saying, but if Dumbledore says you have to die, then maybe he was a bit crazier than any of us thought. You're supposed to defeat Voldemort! That doesn't include being killed by him!"

Harry gritted his teeth and started walking towards where Voldemort was staying again. "Shut up. I have to do this, and I certainly won't be stopped by you."

"Harry! Are you going to let him win?"

Harry tried to block out Fred's desperate voice. This was why he'd wanted his dad in the first place.

"Death hurts, you know!" the Freds said angrily. "If you think an Avada Kedavra feels like falling asleep, then you're wrong. It's bloody painful!"

"Shut up. Go away!" Harry was beginning to lose his nerve. And he couldn't back out. Voldemort needed to die, and this was the only way to kill him.

"Harry!"

"Go away!" Desperate, he twisted the ring in the other direction five times. The forest fell silent, except for his own footsteps.

And in the end, on his way to meet Death, he was alone.

* * *

AN: So this story was originally intended to be entirely humor. Sadly it did not work out that way. I would like some reviews, please...need some advice...


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